Because I Was Loved
by Skye Maxwell
Summary: Haruhi knows that the members of the host club love her, but she does not understand the extent to which they do until each individual host helps her in a time of need.
1. When I Was Weak

**Hello, and welcome to another new story from me. Each chapter focuses on the relationship between Haruhi and a different host. So, before I spill too much, let's start with Honey.**

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><p><span>Chapter 1: When I Was Weak<span>

When he first attacked all those men so mercilessly at the Ootori Aqua Garden, I was reasonably shocked.

I know better now, though.

Sure, he is very cute, but the dangerous thing is that he's well-aware of it; he knows how to use it to his advantage. Plus, you know, he also has some of the best martial arts skills in all of Japan up his sleeve if the cuteness isn't working in a particular situation.

At first, when I was blind to the darkness behind his sugar-coated smile, I never would have asked for his help in this situation.

Actually, I wouldn't have asked for help at all.

I know better than that now too.

There were four of them this time, one more than the last time a bunch of creeps tried to harm me. This situation was unnerving in a different way, though, seeing how I was dressed as a girl. Their intentions were definitely not to beat me, a scrawny boy, up for throwing a bucket of seashells at them and trying to hinder their unsavory intentions.

I had been with Honey-senpai for a simple day out in the park, seeing how he was lonely due to Mori's being away at a kendo competition. He bought ice cream for the two of us from a vendor in the park, which we ate on a park bench. When I was only halfway done with my bowl of strawberry ice cream, Honey had already finished his extra-large bowl of chocolate ice cream and was a sticky mess.

"Haru-chan, I think I'm going to find a restroom somewhere," he said, eying the row of stores across the street. "Will you be okay while I'm gone?"

"Yes, Honey-senpai, I'll be fine," I said around the spoon that was sticking out of my mouth.

Honey giggled. "You're so cute, Haru-chan! I'll be right back. I promise! Okay?"

I nodded, feeling oddly childlike as he skipped away quickly toward the stores. When I finished my ice cream, I got up to look for a trash can. After a minute of searching, I found one and threw away my bowl and spoon.

That's when a pair of strong hands pulled me backwards, making me crash through bushes into a small area that was secluded by the park's trees. I barely felt the numerous scratches of branches against my arms and face as I was pulled roughly into this hidden spot, where no one from the outside would be able to see what was happening unless they were looking particularly intently through the trees. As I squirmed angrily against my attacker who held me from behind, I saw three other dirty, hungry-looking men watching me with greed in their eyes. It was disgusting.

"She's a little one, isn't she?"

"Has the haircut and figure of a boy, don't you think?"

"I'm not picky. She's pretty enough," the third man said, reaching a hand toward me.

Repulsed, I spit in his face, which didn't exactly make him happy. He called me a few offensive names as he wiped the spit off his face, but the man who had a hold of me laughed hoarsely.

"That's what you get for trying to get first dibs on my catch," the voice said, furthering my urge to vomit.

And that was when I knew it: this was too much for me to handle alone. These were four men, and I was one girl. The odds were in no way in my favor.

I was weak, and I needed help.

I knew better than I had before.

With all the force in my lungs, I let out a deafening scream: "Honey-senpai! Hel-"

It wasn't until after I yelled that the idiot thought that it might be a good idea to clap a hand over my mouth.

I writhed at his touch. His hand smelled of grease and tobacco, making me feel slightly more nauseated, but mostly more angry. I contemplated letting myself vomit just to get his nasty hands off of me, but luckily I didn't have to resort to that.

Honey-senpai flew through the bushes and landed a few feet away from us. Instantly cataloging the situation, a dark look came over his eyes.

"_This_ little boy is supposed to help you?" one of the other creeps asked in disbelief.

_Did you not just see him leap through those bushes? _I thought idly, knowing he was only upping his punishment by insulting Honey-senpai.

"Hey guys, let's take the little guy's candy," another joked, mocking Honey's size.

"I don't know if we should do that, guys. This little boy might cry a river and drown us in it," the third jeered.

_Oh, you have no idea, _I thought, knowing the fearful truth about that little boy.

Honey directed his attention to the one who was holding me and demanded (using some very grown-up words) that I be released. Let's just say that I never thought such foul language could come out of a mouth that ate at least a whole cake every day.

"Hey, didn't your mommy teach you any manners, kid?" he asked, slightly appalled and more-than-slightly angered that an elementary school student would call him such profane things.

"Go to hell," Honey said, then added with a curt smile, "I'll show you the way."

Within a second, the man was knocked to the ground, and he pulled me with him. I crawled away from him in horror, seeing a foot-shaped imprint on his face where Honey had kicked him. I caught myself staring at the pool of blood escaping from his nose as I scooted away.

My eyes darted to the other men, who looked scared at first, but then, after a second look at Honey, decidedly converged upon him for a joint attack.

Glancing at me and seeing that I was unharmed, Honey yelled, "Run, Haru-chan! I'll be fine, just go!"

He didn't have to tell me twice. I knew better than to think that he couldn't defend himself.

"Oh no you don't!" one of them yelled as I stood and turned to run away.

"Bun-bun kick!" Honey shouted as he delivered a deadly kick to my pursuer's ribs, causing a sickening crack to fill the air.

I took off and didn't stop until I happened upon a stationary police car in which the officer, bored, was checking for speeding vehicles. I knocked on his driver's side window, causing him to jump a little.

After a brief, urgent explanation, I hopped in the back of the car and directed him to where I had come from. Upon arriving, we burst out of the car and ran to the group of trees together, but it was already too late. The four men were already down for the count, receiving a heated lecture about how to treat young ladies from Honey, who was wiping his hands off on his shorts.

"Haninozuka-sama," the officer said with profound respect as he surveyed Honey's doings, bending in a quick bow. "Doing more vigilante work, I see?"

_Wait, he knows Honey? _I thought. _And what's this about vigilante work?_

"Yep," Honey said, satisfied with his handiwork. "These creeps were almost too easy. Will you take them away for me, please?"

His voice had returned to its normal sweet tone, and even though he had saved me, I was still sort of frightened by his ruthlessness.

"Yes, Haninozuka-sama, of course," the officer said, pulling out a set of handcuffs and some cable ties.

"Ah," Honey commented, "I don't really think you'll be needing those. They'll be out for a while."

The officer gave a small smile. "I'm sure they will, but you know, procedure."

Honey laughed. "Oh, right! Well, if we're done-"

"Wait, Haninozuka-sama, I'm going to need you and this young lady to come to the station with me to answer some questions and fill out some paperwork."

"Hm, well, since I took out the bad guys for you, can you just bypass that part of the procedure for me this time?" Honey asked, adorable eyes flashing. "Just stick these guys in jail, and everything should be fine. Any further matters will be handled by my family, okay? Haru-chan and I would like to go home now."

"Well..." the officer said, obviously struggling with denying Honey's logic and cuteness. "...okay, Haninozuka-sama. Just for you."

"Hooray! Thanks! Let's go now, okay, Haru-chan?" Honey said happily, grabbing my hand and dragging me away from the officer.

I flinched at first at his touch, my nerves still wound up and confused at such an abrupt and simple end to my plight. It took me a moment to relax as we moved forward, but I kept my eyes trained on the back of Honey's head and told myself repeatedly that I was safe from the touch of those men now.

"Thanks, Officer-san!" I called over my shoulder, not having caught his name before I was dragged away by Honey.

After we were a little ways away, I said breathlessly, "Honey-senpai, please stop."

Hearing my request, he halted, dropping my hand. "I'm sorry, Haru-chan! Are you okay? I was in a hurry to get you home safe. Was I going too fast? When we get to your place, I'll patch up your scratches real good, okay? I have some really cute bunny bandages in my first aid kit... I would let you hold Bun-bun, but I sent him with Takashi to keep him safe. I'm so sorry! After we treat your cuts, I'll make you some tea... or some of that instant coffee! I think I picked up on how to make it from watching you. And then I'll have some cakes brought in- a whole roomful of cakes! Oh, I should place a call now so the cake will be there when we arrive. Haru-chan, are you going to be okay? I was walking too fast, wasn't I?"

"Maybe a little," I said quickly, cutting him off, but his speed wasn't the main reason I made him stop. I bent down and gave him a hard hug, tears welling up in my eyes.

"Thank you so much for helping me, Honey-senpai," I said, sniffling near his ear.

"Ha-haru-chan," he stuttered sympathetically, starting to cry himself. "Thank you_._"

I released him and looked at him with confusion as he curled his hand into a fist and wiped his tears away with it.

_What does he have to thank me for? He's the one who saved me._

"Thank you so much, Haru-chan," he explained, "for calling for help. I know you like to do things on your own, but thank you for knowing your limits and yelling for me."

My heart squeezed, and my throat became dry as a few tears slipped down my face.

I realized that physically, I am weak. I know better than to deny that now, but instead of that fact hurting me, it saved me.

I shook my head and smiled, not deserving to be thanked, not deserving such a caring friend. My watery smile was the cue to his waterworks, but at that moment, it was perfectly okay. I wrapped him in another hug, and he clung to me, sobbing and releasing the worry that he had held in.

I'm so grateful that I will always have a friend like Honey-senpai on my side.

I would hate to ever be one of the someones _not_ on his side.

While we were still wrapped in the hug, I quietly said, "You have quite an... _expansive _vocabulary, Honey-senpai. And what's this about vigilante work?"

His only response was a short bout of sniffles and stifled giggles, but instead of becoming more suspicious, I just smiled and tightened my arms around him.

Honey really is adorable. Adorable and ferocious and one of the most openly loving people I've ever met.

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><p><strong>Honey apologizes deeply for his foul mouth. He offers Usa-chan for your holding pleasure if he has offended you.<br>I hope to update this at least once a week, so look out for more. Mori is next.  
>Please review with your questions, comments, andor concerns. :)**

**-Skye **


	2. When I Couldn't Speak

Chapter 2: When I Couldn't Speak

It was lunchtime, but I really didn't feel like eating. I situated myself at an empty table in the main library, tossing my bag and a textbook on top of it as I plopped into a chair. There was only one more class in the day, and I was determined to get through it. Just one more class, and then I could go home. But as I opened my textbook to the correct page, I suddenly remembered another obligation: the host club.

Trying not to lose heart, I told myself, _Okay, it's just one more thing I have to get through. One more class, then the host club, and then I can go home._

My body, however, did not agree with my mind's forced positivity, and my head fell limply into my textbook.

_Crap, _the realistic part of my brain thought. _Another class plus host club? I can't even lift my head out of this book, let alone go through all of that._

As I mustered the willpower to sit back up, the silence of the library was broken by the sound of hurried footsteps coming in my direction from behind. Hoping that whoever it was would leave me alone, I slowly lifted my head out of the textbook. As I let my eyes refocus on the text, I absently noted that the footsteps slowed down. My eyes lazily skimmed the pages, not really taking in a single word.

The owner of the footsteps walked past me, but I didn't bother to look up until he stopped and then sat across from me at the table.

I looked up to see Mori staring back at me expectantly, and I almost felt bad for not looking up before that. I opened my mouth to greet him, but I frowned at my forgetfulness when nothing came out.

"Hello, Haruhi," he said with concern.

It always caught me slightly off guard when he spoke to me, especially when he said my name, and especially now that he sounded worried. I realized that the rushed footsteps must have been him walking fast at seeing my head fall into my textbook, and then he must have slowed down when I sat up. I must have worried him...

"Tired?" he asked.

I shook my head. I didn't need to worry him any more than I already had.

"Sick?" he asked, and I shook my head again, but more slowly this time.

"Haruhi," he said, sounding almost like a concerned yet reproachful parent.

I sighed and reached into my schoolbag with resignation, pulling out a blank sheet of paper. I picked up my pen and scribbled a message across the paper.

_I'm fine, Mori-senpai, thank you._

I handed it to him and watched his eyes flit over the words. He then reached across the table and gently took my pen from my hand, using it to write a response on the paper, as if he couldn't just say his response out loud.

He slid the paper across the table, and it read, _Why aren't you speaking?_

As I surveyed the words, I realized that I had never seen his handwriting before. I had expected it to be a lot neater for some reason...

I pulled another pen in a different color out of my bag and wrote lazily, _Lost my voice._

He rotated the paper and wrote in his Mori-scrawl: _Why are you at school?_

I sighed for what must have been the hundredth time that day. Not bothering to rotate the paper again, I reached forward and wrote, _I'm fine, really. Just a little tired and can't talk. _

He read the upside-down words and then slowly wrote, _So... you lied?_

I frowned up at him.

_What?_

_You lied about not being tired. _

_Oh. That, _I wrote, regretting trying to hide anything from him. _I'm sorry, Mori-senpai. I just really need to be at school. I'm tired and a little sluggish, and my voice is gone, but I'm well enough to get through my classes, which is all that matters. I can't afford to miss any important material. I can't risk-_

Before I could finish, Mori interrupted my rambling explanation by placing a hand over the paper and dragging it across the table away from me.

"Let's go," he said aloud, surprising me once again with the suddenness of his voice.

"What?" I mouthed at him.

He didn't reply. Instead, he closed my textbook and placed it in my bag, along with the two pens we had been corresponding with. After another glance at me, he took the bag in one hand and proceeded to walk away without me.

When I didn't get up and follow him, he looked back to me and said, "Do you need me to carry you?"

My eyes widened, and I shook my head, getting up to follow him. I didn't know where he was going, but I figured it was better to follow him on foot than to be carried by him throughout the school in the middle of the day.

When I saw that we were approaching the nurse's office, I turned on my heel and started walking back the way we had come, not wanting him to get me sent home. Mori caught me by the shoulder, however, and steered me back toward the door. There was no use trying to evade his hold after that point.

As he guided me into the large room, one of many nurses practically glided over to us. I assumed she was the head nurse from the slight difference in her uniform from the others and her air of authority. She smiled widely, only taking a moment to glance at Mori's hand on my shoulder before speaking.

"Morinozuka-san, it is a pleasure to see you," she said cheerfully, just short of gushing. "Don't tell me that for the first time in three years at this school you're actually sick?"

"It is Fujioka-kun that is not feeling well, Oono-san," Mori voiced.

"Ah, Fujioka-kun, the scholarship student?" she asked, now surveying me closely.

When I nodded, Nurse Oono said, "Oh, how delightful to meet you, Fujioka-kun! I've been wanting to get a look at you. Welcome to Ouran, dear, and congratulations on getting such a rare scholarship. You're the first commoner at this school, you know. I'm excited to see how you can possibly succeed among the children of Japan's elite, but it seems that you are off to a good start, being a friend of Morinozuka-san."

For the first time that day, I was actually glad that my voice was gone so that I did not have to say thank you to the nurse in spite of her backhanded compliments.

"He's at the top of his class," Mori supplied politely, making a subtle smile appear on my face.

"Oh, what a miraculous achievement! You keep it up, young man, and I'm sure you'll rise above the ranks of poverty and the lower class in no time."

I gave her a wry smile while clenching my fist behind my back. Mori must have seen it, because he gave my shoulder a comforting squeeze before speaking again.

He said, "He has lost his voice. Could you please take a look at him?"

"Ah, so that's why you are here, Morinozuka-san, to speak for Fujioka-kun."

My ears perked at this statement, my eyes moving from boredly staring at the ground to scrutinizing the face of Nurse Oono.

"That is so very kind and considerate of you, Morinozuka-san. I will look at him right away. Please feel free to sit here in the waiting area while I personally take Fujioka-kun to an examination room. I will do my best to be swift so that you will not have to worry for too long."

"I appreciate that very much, Oono-san. Thank you," Mori said, sounding more like a host than ever. He finally released my shoulder and then gave the nurse a slight bow before turning to sit in one of the plush waiting chairs.

As Nurse Oono led me away from Mori and into a small, yet flamboyant examination room, I thought about how novel it was that Mori-senpai, of all people, was speaking for me.

Nurse Oono started going through the normal check-up procedures, taking my blood pressure and my temperature. She was notably less chatty and much more professional when dealing with me one-on-one.

She then asked me a string of questions: "Is your throat dry? Is it sore? Have you had difficulty swallowing?"

I nodded for each question, the overwhelming tired feeling rushing back to me.

"Are you a singer, by any chance?"

I might have laughed if I could have, but I just shook my head.

She nodded knowingly and wrote something down on a clipboard. She then motioned for me to follow her out of the room, and I cautiously hopped down off the examination table, wondering why she didn't tell me what she had written down.

When Mori saw us approaching, he stood and strode over to meet us.

"Well, Morinozuka-san," she said to him as if I weren't right there or as if I was Mori's child who would not understand what she was saying, "his blood pressure is high, and his temperature is through the roof. His throat appears to be quite swollen. Fever is obvious, but the fever is most likely a symptom of something greater, perhaps laryngitis. He should go straight home-"

At this my eyes narrowed, and my shoulders slumped. Going straight home was exactly what I was trying to avoid.

"...and go straight to bed. I suggest taking a couple of Ibuprofen and having hot soup and some sort of herbal tea to open up the throat some. Also, if he has a humidifier, it should be placed in his room and left on for the night. If the symptoms get a lot worse this evening or have not improved after a good night's rest, I recommend going straight to the doctor for a more thorough diagnosis and perhaps a prescription of some sort."

Mori nodded with every suggestion while I thought, _Where is she even getting all this nonsense? I'm fine. Should a school nurse even be saying such things? The nurses at my old schools would just take our temperatures and then ask if we wanted to go home, to which I would say no, because a slight fever is not equivalent to being on a deathbed. Then I would be sent back to class, and the teacher who had made me go to the nurse in the first place would just frown at me and keep on teaching. And then I would get through the day just fine..._

Mori's hand was back on my shoulder, and I realized that I had tuned Nurse Oono out and had spaced out with my own thoughts. I had missed the latter part of her and Mori's conversation, but I figured it must not have been too important.

"Thank you, Oono-san," Mori said, ending the conversation as he started to steer me toward the door.

I bowed to Nurse Oono quickly and then let Mori push me forward, trying to ignore the lightheaded sensation that came after standing upright again.

The hallway was filled with students who were making their way to their next classes, and just watching the flurry of bodies and hearing all the noise they made caused my head to throb.

"Takashi! Haru-chan!" Honey's painfully high-pitched voice yelled as he ran toward us with outstretched arms.

I closed my eyes and braced myself for the impact of his hug, only to open my eyes and see Mori's arm outstretched, a hand on Honey's head to block him from tackling me. Honey's legs were still going even though he wasn't moving forward, but he finally stopped when he closed his arms for the hug and there was nothing there.

"Takashi?" he asked sadly as Mori removed his hand, clutching his Usa-chan.

"Haruhi is sick, Mitsukuni. I'm taking her home."

My "What?" of protest was never heard.

The emotion in Honey's eyes immediately transformed as he looked up at Mori.

"Okay!" he said with a smile, his eyes glimmering with complete trust, understanding, and an adoration that made my heart constrict.

Honey threw a tight hug around Mori's legs and then handed Usa-chan to him.

"That's for Haru-chan until she gets better, okay? I have to get to class now! Feel better soon, Haru-chan!" he yelled as he waved and skipped toward his next class.

"Would you like to hold Usa-chan?" Mori asked when Honey had gone out of sight.

I looked up at him, stuck in a sort of awe-like state, and before I knew what I was doing, my head was going up and down in a slow nod.

With Usa-chan in my arms, we proceeded toward the front entrance. I rested my chin tiredly on top of the bunny's soft head, resigned to being taken home. My mind reeled over the significance of having the toy in my arms, as well as the significance of Mori leaving school just to take me home.

A car was already waiting outside for us. The ride home was absolutely silent, as would be expected, but I didn't mind. I rested the back of my head against the cool leather seat and tried not to think too hard about anything in particular.

I woke with a start as he was carrying me up the stairs to my apartment. He only glanced at my face before looking away again. Inside the apartment, he sat me on the couch and placed Usa-chan in a sitting position next to me. He put my bag on the floor near my feet and then walked over to the telephone, picking up a notepad on which I had written some telephone numbers. I watched warily as he dialed one of the numbers from the paper.

"Ranka-san? It's Mori-"

I realized that he was calling my father at work, and from the loud squealing noise I heard on the other end, Dad was pretty excited about it. I assumed Mori would ask Dad to come home and take care of me. I had half a mind to try and stop him, but the notion went away. It is futile to try and stop Mori from doing something he is set on doing.

I didn't listen to exactly what Mori was saying but instead listened to the timbre of his voice, how it just barely went up and down but never went on continuously for too long. In those moments as I sunk into the couch, I was glad that he had done all that he had- that he had pulled me out of school and taken me home. I knew he only wanted what was best for me, and I was grateful for it. I closed my eyes again, only opening them a few minutes later when I heard the click of the phone being set down.

Mori sat on the edge of the couch in front of Usa-chan and said, "I explained everything to him. He's going to stop at the store to pick up a few things for you and then come straight home. I should be getting back to school now."

I suddenly remembered that I would be missing the host club, and as if he knew from reading the look in my eyes, Mori said, "Don't worry about host club, I'll explain it to them."

_There he goes again, speaking for me..._

I clumsily reached down toward my bag, pulling out a pen and a wrinkled sheet of paper and setting it on the table before me.

My hazy mind tried to come up with a coherent sentence to write to thank him, but all I could think of was how lovely his voice was and how it made me happy to hear it.

He looked away as I started to write. I wrote painstakingly slow, conquering each letter individually.

When I was halfway done with my first sentence, he glanced over, and I felt him stiffen beside me.

I realized that all I had written so far was "I love you," and I hastily added "-r voice."

I felt him relax at seeing the rest, and I resisted the urge to hit myself in the head. I added a caret symbol between "love" and "your" and wrote "hearing" underneath it so that the sentence sounded a little less stupid. A little.

I then added, "Thank you for speaking on my behalf," and I set the pen down, not trusting myself to write anything more.

I watched his face, and after a moment of surveying the paper, he gave a small smile, which was enough to make my heart calm. He stood up to leave, but then he bent down and wrote something quick on the paper. When he finished, he straightened and gave me a small nod before disappearing through my apartment door.

When he was gone, I reached for the paper.

He had circled "I love you" and written "too" after it.

I grabbed Usa-chan and sat him in my lap, and we both stared at the paper for a long time.

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><p><strong>Mori is cuteness. :)<br>How'd you like the nurse? Oh no! It's Nurse Oono! XD  
>So... this fic is based around a certain song. It may be clearer which song it is with the addition of more chapters... but the first reviewer to correctly guess the song will get a mention. :D<strong>

**-Skye **


	3. When I Couldn't See

**Congratulations to Kayy-chan for getting the song right! Thanks for reviewing, dear. :)  
><strong>**This fic is based around the song "Because You Loved Me" by Celine Dion. The chapter titles come from the song's chorus, and I matched a host to each line of the chorus, hence the order of the hosts.  
><strong>**Another mention goes out to BGPixieQueen77 for being the second to get the song and for writing out the whole chorus in her review!**

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><p><span>Chapter 3: When I Couldn't See<span>

Mori and Honey had somewhere to go as soon as the guests left, so I also used that as my excuse and slipped out of the third music room with them. Actually, I had nowhere important to get to. I really just needed to get to a restroom to take my contacts out, and I didn't want the other hosts to try and slow me down. My eyes had been bothering me all day and burning hideously throughout club hours. Dad had bought me some new, strange brand of contact solution, and it really didn't seem to be agreeing with my eyes.

I walked a little ways with Mori and Honey but then quickly excused myself down a different hallway where the restrooms were. They bid me two earnest farewells and then hurried off to wherever they were going.

When I got to the restrooms, I stood there in a moment of indecisiveness. I had always avoided the school restrooms for obvious reasons, so I didn't know whether to go in the male restroom or the female one. I almost went in the female one since it was after school, but then I changed direction and went in the male restroom in case a custodian came around or some other student came out of nowhere.

I made my way through the long restroom, going to the sink farthest from the door and trying not to glance at the urinals to my right. I pulled my contact case out of the pocket of my school bag, opened it, and placed it on the ledge of the sink, and then I set my bag on the ground.

After turning the water on full blast, I rolled up my sleeves and plucked the first contact out. I put it in its slot, feeling the start of a headache forming due to the difference between my left eye's perfect vision and my right eye's near blindness. Hastily, I plucked the other contact out, only to realize that I could barely make out the white case since it blended in with the the white sink, and I definitely couldn't see the individual contact slots.

I tried my best to make out the case, but my eyes weren't letting me. I searched for the correct slot with my hand, succeeding only at knocking the case straight into the sink and dropping my other contact along with it.

_No! _I thought frantically.

I put both hands in the sink, my fingers splashing through the water to find the contacts, to no avail. I couldn't see a thing. I sighed as my search slowed, figuring the contacts had long since gone down the sink.

_I doubt the host club budget will pay for another set of those..._

"Haruhi?" a familiar voice said from the entrance of the restroom.

I listened to him approach, stopping a few feet away from me.

"Kyoya-senpai, what are you doing here?" I asked. I then pulled my drenched arms out of the sink, realizing how strange I must have looked.

"Am I not allowed to use the restroom, Haruhi?"

"Oh," I said with embarrassment. "You are. Sorry."

_He is human, after all, _I thought.

"Turn your eyes to the left a little," he directed, and I wordlessly obeyed. "Yes, now up a bit... stop. There, now you're looking at me."

I bit my lip, hating my terrible vision.

"I dropped my contacts in the sink," I told him in order to explain my current state, even though he had probably already figured that out.

"Being careless again, Haruhi?" he asked rhetorically.

I expected him to scold me more, but then I felt something brush against my hand.

"Oh, thank you," I said, taking the paper towel he was holding out to me and drying my arms and hands off.

I didn't want to make him throw it away for me when I was done, so I aimed to where I thought the trash can was and took a chance by tossing it that way.

Unfortunately, I had no way of knowing if it went in, so I had to ask, "Did it go in the trash can?"

"Yes, Haruhi," he said with a sigh.

I didn't show it, but I was slightly proud that it went in.

Kyoya observed, "Your eyes are quite red."

"Oh, yes, my dad got me this new contact solution, and it's not doing so well with my eyes," I explained, hoping that I was looking at him rather than off in some other direction.

"Would you like some eye drops?" he asked.

"Oh, yes, that would be great!" I said, sounding a bit too eager, but really just wanting the burning to go away.

"Tilt your head back," he instructed, throwing me off.

"What?" I asked, clueless as to why he would want me to do that.

"I'm going to put them in for you. I don't trust you to put these in by yourself without stabbing yourself in the eye."

I was about to say something to defend myself, but the thought went away as I was distracted by him placing what felt like a silk cloth in my hand.

"It's a handkerchief," he informed me, probably seeing the questioning look on my face. "Your head," he repeated pointedly, and I tilted my head back, figuring I might as well let him do it since he was offering.

He placed a steadying hand on the side of my face and quickly squeezed the drops into my eyes.

Then he removed his hand and ordered, "Blink."

I moved my head back forward and blinked rapidly, moving the drops over the surface of my eyes. I wiped away the drops that had escaped and were trailing down my face with his handkerchief. At first, a stinging sensation that was worse than the initial burning made more tears spring up in my eyes, but it was then replaced by a clean burning feeling which then settled into a cool wave of relief.

"Thank you, Kyoya-senpai," I said, relieved and dabbing the last drops from my skin.

He took the handkerchief from my hand and then wiped away a drop on my face that I had apparently missed.

Handing the handkerchief back to me, he said, "Keep it in case you need it later. I have plenty at home. Do you have your glasses in your bag?"

Pocketing the handkerchief, I said, "Um, no, actually."

_Of course. The one day that I need my glasses is the one day that I left them at home... _

"Such carelessness..." he said, probably shaking his head disapprovingly. "Well, wait outside then. I'll be out in a minute."

"Huh?" I said, thrown off once again.

"You obviously can't function by yourself. Your vision is terrible. I'll get you to where you need to go."

That's when I remembered that he had come into the restroom for a reason.

"Oh- okay," I said, perilously trying to make my way out.

I slowly plodded forward, hoping I'd make it to the exit without injury.

"Let's expedite this, hm?"

He turned me toward the exit and pushed me forward with his index finger. Once we were outside, he handed me my bag that I had left on the floor by the sink, which I clutched tightly to my chest.

"Stay here," he said before disappearing back into the restroom.

My mind wandered back to the forgotten glasses case on my kitchen counter, and I mentally hit myself for leaving it there in my haste, along with the breakfast I had prepared but had forgotten to eat.

_Maybe Dad ate my breakfast when he woke up. I hope he didn't let it go to waste. Then again, he might still be asleep, since he worked so late. I worry about him. He's such a goof... _

"Let's go," Kyoya said when he exited the restroom, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I was wondering how I was going to be able to follow him without crashing into anything, but he, somehow a step ahead of me again, placed a light, guiding hand on my elbow and began to push me forward.

Kyoya is the least touchy of the hosts, so I was surprised by the little repeated instances of his unfamiliar, gentle touch. I keep the memory of his not-so-gentle touch locked up at the back of my mind, trying to remember more of the lesson that I was taught rather than how it was taught to me.

When we took a right in the opposite direction of the school's main doors, I asked, "Where are we going, Kyoya-senpai?"

"To the third music room," he stated, as if I should have known.

I probably should have assumed that since it would be the only logical explanation for going the way we were going, but I didn't know why we'd be going back there. I didn't question him, however.

After walking a little ways, he finally released me for a moment to unlock the door to the room. As he opened the door and started to enter, my hand reached out to grab his arm. I knew I couldn't navigate around the room that still had tens of chairs set up on the floor by myself.

Before my reach could get to his arm, though, my hand accidentally rammed into his.

"Ah! I'm sorry!" I exclaimed, but before I could jerk my hand away, he wrapped his around mine and began to pull a bit while still being incredibly gentle.

"Careless," he muttered so quietly that I nearly missed it.

_I'm so clumsy, _I thought with my head hung slightly as he led me through the room. I didn't even try to deny my own clumsiness at that point.

He guided me over to one of the couches and told me to sit while he went to one of the adjoining supply rooms. I was left to sit there with my hands folded in my lap, noting the difference in temperature between the two of them and wondering what Kyoya was doing.

When he came back, he placed a small item on the table in front of me and then fiddled with some other small object in his hands.

"Hold out your finger," he told me.

I held out an index finger, and I felt him place a lens on the tip of it.

_No way, _I thought for a moment before popping the contact in. After I got the second lens in, my vision was perfectly restored, and I blinked a few times as everything became clearer before looking up at Kyoya.

"Try not to put these down the sink," he said, then pointed to the objects on the table.

I looked and saw a new contact case and an expensive-looking little bottle of contact solution.

"You keep extra lenses for me, Kyoya-senpai?" I asked.

That had to be the only explanation, since the new contacts were my exact prescription.

"Please, Haruhi," he said. "I am prepared for the carelessness of all the hosts, even you."

"Plus, you probably know what it's like to be blind, don't you, Kyoya-senpai?"

He paused to push his glasses up and then said, "Yes, I do."

I smiled at him. He looked toward the windows.

After clearing his throat, he said, "I assume you can make your way home on your own now?"

Following my own train of thought, I blankly asked, "Is there any way I can repay your kindness?"

He almost looked disconcerted at having the word "kindness" applied to him in such a way.

"You know that those items will be added to your debt, right?" he asked.

"Of course," I stated. "Would you like some coffee?"

I really didn't have anywhere to get to in any hurry. I think he was the one who was thrown off this time...

"No, thank you," he declined politely.

"You don't have to have instant coffee. I'm capable of making other kinds," I said with a tone of insistence.

"I suppose... if you feel the need-"

"Great!" I interrupted before he could change his mind, getting up off the couch and walking toward the kitchen.

I picked a random bag of fancy coffee from their fancy assortment and put it through their fancy coffee machine, waiting there until it was finished and then putting it into two fancy cups on a fancy tray.

Rich people and their fancy things...

When I returned to Kyoya, he was on his laptop, not wasting another minute of his time. I felt a pang of guilt as I set the tray down on the table.

"I'm sorry that I lost the first set of contacts," I apologized, "and that I wasted so much of your time."

"I decide how I spend my own time," he said, pausing briefly in his typing to look at me. "You cannot waste my time for me."

Sticking my neck out a bit, I said, "So, what you mean by that is... that you don't feel that helping me was a waste of your time?"

His eyes went back to his laptop. "Well, that's not what I said at all."

I smiled to myself and then asked, "What are you doing?"

"Host Club finances," he replied shortly.

"May I see?"

"Sure."

I sat next to him on the couch, leaving the coffee on the table to cool off some. I saw an extensive spreadsheet stretched across his screen, and I scooted closer to get a better look at it.

We sat there for a while as he patiently explained various figures and divulged little secrets about the management of the host club. It's fascinating how much he does to keep the club running smoothly. He's very good at the work he does. Well, he's good at pretty much everything he does...

After he felt he had given me enough information to somewhat satisfy my interest, he closed his laptop and reached for the two cups on the table. He handed me my cup and waited for me to taste mine before drinking it. I peered into the cup warily, not sure if I would like such expensive coffee.

"It's my favorite blend, if that helps," he said.

"It doesn't," I said honestly, eying the the surface of the liquid. "It smells too... rich."

"Is that a pun? Weren't you offended when everyone was afraid to try your instant coffee?"

I sighed. He was right.

I took a small sip, and I had to resist the urge to spit it back out.

"It's disgusting," I said, wrinkling my nose.

"You'll get used to it, _commoner_," he teased before proceeding to drink his coffee.

Hearing Tamaki's overused term for me, I reflexively stuck my tongue out at him while he wasn't looking. I've been hanging out with the twins too much.

"I saw that," he said between sips.

I said quietly, mostly to myself, "Rich, all-seeing ba-"

"What's that, Haruhi?"

And it went on like that for another half an hour. It was the strangest thing... Kyoya and I just sat there, talking about various little things and taking the occasional stab at each other. It was actually really fun, in an unexpected, subtle sort of way. I was surprised that he went along with it for so long. I hinted to him that he could go if he needed or wanted to, but he paid no attention to the hint for some reason. I had never talked to him so much in one sitting before, and I must say that I enjoyed every minute of it.

And I think maybe, just maybe, he enjoyed it too.

Kyoya, even though he doesn't show it, is very loving in his own way. He is very selective with his love, I think, quietly letting it spill over to a very carefully hand-picked few.

I am very lucky to be one of those people.

"Haruhi, why are you staring at me like that?" he said, breaking the silence that had come up.

"Just analyzing you," I said with a small smile, not having realized my own stare.

He raised an eyebrow. "Did you come to any conclusions?"

"Yes," I told him. "Despite my clumsiness, I am very lucky."

"What does that have to do with me?" he asked.

Staring thoughtfully at my coffee, I said, "Everything."

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><p><strong>D'aww. Gotta love Kyoya. :3<br>****(Has anyone read my story called Chances? Like how I reused Everything? ;D)  
><strong>**Review, please? Thanks!**

**-Skye **


	4. The Best There Was in Me

**I edited the last chapter slightly, mostly to make Haruhi a bit more in character. The differences are all just minor, though.  
>Thank you to everyone who has read this story, added it to their alerts andor faves, and reviewed so far.**

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><p><span>Chapter 4: The Best There Was in Me<span>

I stared hard at the painting before me, wondering what could possibly be done to make it look like something that resembled art. I decidedly added a few strokes of green to the background, and I somehow managed to make the painting even more hideous.

_I'm hopeless, _I thought wearily, setting my brush down in defeat.

Suddenly, the classroom door flew open, and Kaoru walked in, alone. He made his way to shelf by the window where all the finished paintings are kept, not noticing me at the back of the art room. He found his own painting among the others, a gorgeous landscape that practically looked like an enlarged photograph from where I was sitting.

"Kaoru?" I said to get his attention.

He jumped a little when I said his name, but he swiftly recovered and set his work down on a desk, coming over to me.

As he walked toward me, he said, "Haruhi, what are you doing here after school? I figured that you would be one to fly out of here as soon as the last bell rings on days when we don't have host club."

"That's what I normally do, but I have to stay after today to fix this painting," I said, frowning at the mess in front of me once again.

"Fix it? I thought the painting project was due today during class," he said, standing behind the easel with his hands in his pockets and looking over the canvas at me.

"It was. The teacher gave me an extension, though. She said she knew that I had tried and that I wanted to get a good grade on the project, but she also said that the painting was awful and that there was no way that she, as a self-respecting artist, could give me an A for this. She gave me until tomorrow to fix it with no penalty, but I don't know how I can make this disaster any better."

Kaoru's eyes widened. "She said all that? It can't be _that_ bad," he said skeptically, stepping around the easel to see the painting.

He looked at it, and all that came out was, "Oh..."

I sighed. "Yeah, I know it's bad. Art is not my strong point."

Still staring at the painting and looking slightly repulsed, he said, "Is that why you always stay in the very back of the classroom? So that others won't see your horrible art and be offended by your complete lack of artistic talent?"

_Ouch. Such harsh words... but I suppose he's just telling it like he sees it, so I can't blame him..._

"Yes," I admitted. "I'm actually surprised that you haven't seen any of my horrible art before now. Come to think of it, this is the only class I have where you and Hikaru aren't always all over me."

He gave an embarrassed laugh, scratching the back of his head.

"Heh, I guess Hikaru and I like to get into our art."

"Yes, you and Hikaru are both very talented, but I think you love it more than Hikaru does. Whenever you have a white canvas or a block of clay or a blank sheet of paper in front of you," I observed, "you really get lost in it."

A faint blush appeared on his cheeks, and he stared at me with that look he gives his blank canvases, his eyes round and thoughtful.

"Are you okay, Kaoru?" I asked, concerned at this sudden change in him.

After blinking a few times, he said, "Yeah... I'm fine."

_The heat came on a few minutes ago, _I thought. _Maybe he's just feeling warm?_

He suddenly snapped out of it and asked, "Would you like some help, Haruhi?"

He turned away from me and turned to my painting, picking up the brush that I had set down. As his hand neared the canvas, I reached out and snatched my brush back, which seemed to surprise him.

"No, you can't do that! It wouldn't be right," I told him worriedly, my heart racing a bit at the thought of cheating in such a way.

He gave a small smile, saying, "Ah, innocent little Haruhi... Okay, I'll help you in a different way. You see, it just so happens that our art teacher's husband works for my mother's company. If I put in a call right now, I can make sure that you get an A on this project. Otherwise, her husband will be unemployed by morning."

He had that sly look on his face, and I just looked at him in disbelief.

"Kaoru! You can't do that! That's terrible!" I cried, feeling like I was about to fall off of my stool.

"I'm just kidding, Haruhi, sheesh!" he said with a nervous laugh that made me think that he hadn't been kidding. "Can I just give you some advice, then?"

"I... suppose that wouldn't hurt," I said, after taking a moment to think about it.

He took a step back and looked the painting up and down once more, and then he snatched it off the easel and stuffed it in the garbage can, much to my horror.

"Is it that irreparable?" I asked with exasperation, standing up now.

"Unforgivably so, I'm afraid," he said as he got a new canvas for me to butcher.

He set it on the easel and lightly pushed me back down onto the stool.

"Now, Haruhi, I know that after that last painting, it would be easy to lose all hope, but I believe no case is completely lost-"

"You made me take this class!" I protested, cutting him off and reminding him of when he and Hikaru had planned out my electives.

"I thought that you would be good at it!" he exclaimed back at me, matching my tone.

His outburst, of course, was louder than mine, and I was a bit taken aback. I think he could tell, because he immediately looked regretful.

"And you know that you need a fine arts credit to graduate," he added more quietly, not looking at me.

"I'm sorry, Kaoru," immediately came out of my mouth in response. He cocked his head at me, and I said, "Starting the project over is a good idea. I shouldn't be so rude to you."

"Haruhi, don't-"

"I think I was just momentarily overwhelmed by the thought of bringing another one of my paintings into the world. I'm sorry," I finished, feeling the need to apologize a second time.

Instead of addressing what I had just said, he looked back to the canvas and said softly, "Let me teach you what you won't learn in this class, Haruhi."

He continued to stare at the white space before him, as if he had to wait for it to tell him the right words to say.

"The essence of art is meaning," he said. "Everything that is created must have a reason behind it- otherwise, it's pointless."

"Okay," I said, thinking that I got what he was trying to say. I said confidently, "My reason for doing this painting is to get an A."

Now that I had my purpose defined, I was set to make something worthy of being called art. Or so I thought.

I picked up the paintbrush and was about to make a stroke on the canvas, but Kaoru was the one to snatch the brush away this time.

"Haruhi, that's not how it works," he said, looking genuinely concerned.

I frowned. "Then how does it work?"

"You're thinking too black and white, Haruhi," he said, gripping the paintbrush so that I couldn't get to it again. "...and art is so much more than black and white."

"I was actually going to start with green," I pointed out, gesturing to the green tip of the brush he was holding.

He slapped his forehead, but I had no idea what I had done wrong.

"Haruhi, stop thinking, and just... just listen to me," he asked almost imploringly.

"Okay," I said, taking a breath and trying to clear my mind, wanting to trust his artistic opinion.

He explained, "When you're writing an essay, every word you put into it has a reason for being there. When you're doing a math problem, each step is important to getting to the final answer. With painting, every stroke should have a reason for being there and should ultimately make up the bigger picture."

I nodded, finally understanding something that he was trying to get through my head. He was using things that I understood, things that I could relate to.

As he absentmindedly twirled the brush in his fingers, he continued, "The purpose of art is not just to display extraordinary skill or to produce pretty products; it's to create. To create is the highest form of thinking. The purpose of art is to convey a message without words. Some people are better than others at saying things without saying them. I... I'm not," he said, looking at the floor.

"Are you sure that you're not?" I asked, thinking that if he was such a good artist, he would be able to do this wordless conveying quite well.

Then, for reasons I can't explain, he gave me a long, hard stare. Our eyes were locked while I waited for him to answer, but he looked more like he was waiting for some sort of answer from me. I didn't know what he wanted me to say or what to say at all, so I just stared back blankly.

He tore his eyes from mine and said, "Yes, Haruhi, I'm sure."

_He looks pained, _I thought. _Maybe it's the heat getting to him again. _

Before I could ask him about it, he said, "You have to reach deep down inside of you- maybe to a place that you've always been afraid to go to- and pull out something that is a part of you..."

The first thing I saw in my mind was me putting my arm down my throat and pulling out my heart, beating and bloody and all. The thought made me shudder, but he didn't notice as he was getting lost in the canvas again.

_I'm being too literal, _I thought.

And that's when I also realized that I was being too black and white.

I wanted to slap my own forehead.

But then the significance of all of his words really sunk in, and he spoke again.

"...and when you pull that something out, you have to show it to the world. You have to show it to the world and at the same time not care what anyone else thinks about it."

"But, Kaoru, what if I don't have anything worth showing the world?" I asked, watching the paintbrush in his hand and knowing that it was much better off in his hands than mine.

However, his twirling of the brush stopped after I stopped speaking. I watched his knuckles go white around it, and then the brush fell to the ground, getting green paint on the floor.

My eyes went from the brush to his face, and I was surprised to see suppressed anger there.

"Kaoru?"

"How dare you say that," he said tightly.

_Did I offend him in some way? _I thought worriedly. _What did I say to anger him?_

"Everyone has something valuable to give to the world. All people have a reason for having been created. Otherwise... it's pointless," he said more calmly, but still seeming strained. "No one is pointless. Especially not you, Haruhi."

He finally looked back up at me, but I only could see the pain in his eyes for a moment before he bent down to pick up the fallen brush and turned away.

Silence took over the room, save for the sound of the incessant heater. Kaoru went to the sink to rinse the brush off and get a paper towel to clean the paint off of the floor. I looked away from him and turned my attention squarely on the canvas. The overwhelmed feeling only returned, and I tried to figure out what the problem was.

"You know," I finally said, making Kaoru freeze as he was about to throw the paper towel away, "I've been feeling pretty useless lately."

I didn't want to look at him to see his reaction, so I continued on, "I mean, there was the incident at the park where I couldn't defend myself and Honey-senpai had to save me. There was a couple of weeks ago when I had laryngitis and was too stubborn to just go home and try and get well, and Mori-senpai had to step in. Then a couple of days ago, I dropped my contacts down the sink and was too blind to even find my way out of the restroom, and Kyoya-senpai had to get me new contacts so that I could function. Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate having such good friends that are willing to help me, but I wish that I need didn't help so often, that I didn't have so many huge faults. Even now, I'm at the top of the class but can't produce a simple painting to save my grade."

I finished, not knowing why I had just said all of that but feeling the slightest relief at having gotten it out.

Kaoru observed me, looking somewhat bewildered, and muttered, "So many huge faults? Are you kidding me?"

Something knotted in my stomach.

_Perhaps I've said too much..._

Kaoru pulled a chair up next to my stool, and I turned sideways to face it. He turned it so its back was facing me and then sat in it, folding his arms on top of the chair's back.

"Listen to me. Your bad vision is not your fault."

"It's my fault that I lost my contacts," I said.

He shook his head.

"_Listen _to me, Haruhi," he said seriously, closing both of his hands tightly around one of mine.

That got my attention.

"Your vision is not your fault," he repeated. "Everyone makes clumsy little mistakes once in a while. Getting sick was not your fault, and it's not a terrible thing that you wanted to push through school despite your sickness. That just shows how dedicated you are, and how strong-willed you are, and how you're going to succeed at anything you put your mind to, because you're willing to go the extra mile. Being attacked by those four men was not your fault, and you're not a completely weak person just because you happen to be like most people who can't take on four men alone."

He was trying to justify my faults. Another person making up for my faults...

He continued, "You know what _is_ your fault? It's your fault that you're so lovable."

"Kaoru?"

He ignored my interruption.

"You're so _excruciatingly _lovable, Haruhi. It's kind of ridiculous. The people who love you would do anything for you, and you're not loved for no good reason. There are a million things about you that make you amazing, but somehow, you're the only one who isn't aware of that. I can't even start to name everything that is great about you, because that would take forever and make me feel more embarrassed and cheesy than I already do, which shouldn't even be possible. You don't see the impact you have on people, so you don't know how huge that impact really is."

His eyes were glued to the ground yet again, but his hands were still securely around my hand.

My face was warm, but I had a feeling that it wasn't because of the heater.

Where was that usual devilish Kaoru? When did he become this reluctant gentleman?

Not that I minded it.

Because maybe his words, even if they seemed to be quite exaggerated, were exactly what I needed to hear.

He eventually said, "Haruhi, do this painting. Be as honest to this canvas as you are to everyone else. If anything at all from inside you shows up on that canvas, then it's definitely going to be beautiful."

He looked me in the eyes on the last word and just stared for a moment. He then quickly released my hand and made his way toward the front of the classroom.

"I have to get going," he said, picking up his painting in a sudden hurry. "Hikaru is waiting for me in the library. He's probably wondering where I am by now."

Before he could bolt out the door, I said, "Kaoru, wait!"

He paused and looked at me.

All I could manage to say was, "Thank you, Kaoru."

The worry on his face seemed to melt away, and he smiled at me, which of course I couldn't help but return.

"You're welcome, Haruhi. Always," he said, and then he turned and exited the art room.

My mind was reeling, going back over all that had been said. I was grateful and humbled and reassured and confused all at once. It was all mixed up inside of me and needed to be released.

That's when I looked back to the canvas in front of me.

That's when I decided to tell it what was on my heart.

And that's how I avoided failing art class.

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><p><strong>This chapter has so much... stuff in it. Lots of symbolism and irony and subtle little things...<br>I love Kaoru a lot in this chapter. Maybe because he shares my opinions on art. XD  
>But seriously, I think this chapter has an underlying sadness that the others don't. I sympathize with Kaoru.<br>What do you think?**

**-Skye **


	5. When I Couldn't Reach

**Hello there. :) This chapter took a bit longer to write, so sorry for the wait. It was a real challenge for me, but I hope that something good came out of it. Please enjoy.**

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><p><span>Chapter 5: When I Couldn't Reach<span>

"Now, since the club room has been turned into a disaster zone because of certain antics, the three of you will be staying after today to get the room back in order."

These words came from the mouth of none other than Kyoya, and as I stood between Hikaru and Kaoru in a line of the accused parties, I couldn't help but think of how I did not deserve the blame for this mess.

Every time Hikaru, Kaoru, and Tamaki end up chasing each other for some reason that somehow traces back to me, a huge mess is made, especially when I literally get caught in the middle of the situation. Usually Kyoya has someone else clean up the mess, but that day's mess apparently called for a personal level of punishment.

I, of course, could do nothing about this. Then again, I was more content to have to clean up than I would have been with having the damages added to my debt. Again.

"It was all Tono's fault!" Hikaru protested once Kyoya's orders had been given.

"Yes, we were just trying to defend poor Haruhi from Tono's idiocy!" Kaoru added.

"You would be much more helpful if you saved me from _your_ idiocy first," I grumbled, something that they didn't seem to hear.

"This is not all our fault, Kyoya-senpai! Yet you allowed Tono, Honey-senpai, and Mori-senpai to leave!" the two of them pointed out.

"Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai were in no way related to this mess, so I dismissed them. Plus, I believe that Honey-senpai is traumatized and that Mori-senpai will have to look after him until he has recovered," Kyoya explained. "As for Tamaki, he had a very important meeting with his father to attend to."

Just when I thought that Tamaki was off the hook, Kyoya added darkly, "Tamaki will be punished tenfold at a later time."

Tears rolled out of the twins' eyes as they said, "Poor Tono! He will have to suffer Kyoya-senpai's increased wrath later!"

Their swift changes of heart never fail to amaze me.

"Now, you will each have a separate assignment. Haruhi, you will take down today's decorations and put them into storage. Hikaru, you will clean up the mess that was made, including all the spilled desserts from flipping over Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai's table. Kaoru, you will come with me."

"What? Why me?" Kaoru cried in fear.

Hikaru immediately took hold of his brother and shielded him from Kyoya.

"You will not hurt my Kaoru, Mother!" he said bravely.

Kyoya smiled. "Would you like to find out what Mother does when her children are disobedient, _Hikaru-chan_?"

"No, Okaa-sama!" Hikaru exclaimed immediately, fearfully moving to cower hide behind Kaoru.

Kyoya's smile widened a little before he said, "Come, Kaoru. There is a vehicle waiting at the the main entrance that is loaded with all of tomorrow's decorations and cosplays. You will unload all of the boxes and carry them back here."

"All by myself?" Kaoru whined. "What will you do?"

"I will supervise your work," Kyoya said with that tone that told Kaoru not to question him again, causing Kaoru to shrivel childishly.

These people are so dramatic.

"Well, come along, _Kaoru-chan, _or would you like Mother to hold your hand on the way out?" Kyoya asked as he pushed the door open to exit.

"No, please don't!" Kaoru said, scurrying after Kyoya and out the door, as if such touch would make his skin burn and disintegrate.

"Be strong, Kaoru!" Hikaru called out as the door shut behind his twin.

"Don't worry, Kyoya-senpai won't do anything to Kaoru," I told him, not nearly as affected by the theatrics.

Hikaru growled, "I have half a mind to protest evil Kyoya-senpai's wishes by not following his orders."

Just then, one of the doors swung forcefully back open.

Kyoya stood there holding the door open, and Hikaru shrieked and hid behind me.

"Oh, and I almost forgot," Kyoya said, "if anyone decided to use their half of a brain to defy my wishes, they would inevitably suffer dire consequences."

And with that, he vanished once more, the door closing loudly behind him.

"Never mind," Hikaru said, releasing the fistful of my blazer that he'd had a hold of. "Let's get to work, Haruhi!"

Hikaru sped toward the closet that held the cleaning supplies, newly motivated, and I sighed, looking at all the over-the-top decorations that I would have to take down.

I went toward the window that was near Honey and Mori's flipped table (and all of the wasted cakes all over the floor) and tugged at the end of the fabric that was hung on the wall. My first tug did nothing, so I tugged a little harder, but the fabric was well-secured in place and refused to come down.

"Haruhi, is that your painting project over by your bag?"

I turned to see Hikaru, with a mop and bucket in hand, looking curiously toward the canvas next to my bag.

"Yes," I answered. "Why?"

He swiftly set down the mop and bucket and ran over to the painting, chanting, "I want to see! I want to see!"

"Ah... Hikaru!" I called out, suddenly embarrassed. "It's really not that good."

And then Kaoru's words came back to me.

_You have to show it to the world and at the same time not care what anyone else thinks about it._

By the time I had decided to try and stop him and then decided to not try and stop him, he had the canvas in his hands, his arms stretched out in front of him to see the entire painting.

I walked over to him, not knowing his reaction since the canvas was concealing his face.

When I reached him, he said, "Haruhi... it's... beautiful."

He started wiping away melodramatic tears, and I rolled my eyes.

"Stop that," I demanded.

"No, seriously, Haruhi! I mean, I have no earthly idea what it's supposed to be-"

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"-but it has character and feeling." He turned his head to look at me and added, "More feeling than I have ever seen that face express."

"Is that a compliment or an insult?" I asked dully.

Ignoring my question, he looked back at the painting.

"It's very you, Haruhi. It's beautiful," he repeated.

_If anything at all from inside you shows up on that canvas, then it's definitely going to be beautiful._

My face got warm at the statement that was unmistakably a compliment, and I turned away and strode back toward the window.

"We better get some work done before Kyoya-senpai returns," I said, getting a chair and dragging it under the decorations that I intended to pull down.

"Ah, okay," Hikaru said quietly, setting the painting down and returning to his mop and bucket.

As he started moving the mop around in the mess of cakes in a way that clearly showed how little cleaning experience he had, I stepped up on the chair and reached underneath the fabric to undo the fastener with which it was stuck to the wall. It was just beyond my fingertips, so I got on my toes and reached a little farther.

That's when I reached too far and lost my balance. I tried to grasp at the cloth to hold me up, but the fine material slipped out of my hands. I fell sideways, barely hearing Hikaru yell out my name.

The next thing I knew, I was in Hikaru's arms, and then we were both falling backwards as he slipped on the desserts under his feet. He hit the floor hard, and then I made it worse as he acted as a cushion for my own fall. As I rolled away from him, I ended up next to him, on my stomach, my entire front half covered in cake.

"Haruhi! Are you okay?" Hikaru cried.

"Yeah," I muttered.

"You have to be more careful!" he reprimanded as he sat up.

I used my elbows to push myself up and looked at Hikaru, who, upon seeing the cake all over my uniform and face, burst into a fit of laughter.

"Hey!" I said, but then I saw that his back half was also covered in cake, and I had to laugh too.

"Ahaha," he chuckled, holding his stomach. "Where did Haruhi go?" he asked as he wiped cake off of my face, as if I was buried somewhere far beneath the frosting.

I wiped some of the cake off of my face too and said through a small laugh, "I'm sorry, Hikaru. Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'll be fine," he assured me as he ran a finger across my mouth to get some pink frosting off of it.

My eyes widened a bit.

"It's weird to see Haruhi being so sweet for a change," he remarked, looking at the frosting on his hand and then wiping it off on his pants.

I was slightly bewildered at first, but then another laugh burst out of me, forcing me to wipe tears from the corners of my eyes.

"That was a horrible joke, Hikaru!" I told him, and he laughed, scratching the back of his head as if he was both ashamed and proud of his joke.

We finally both stood and stepped out of the cake mess carefully, and Hikaru walked over to the fallen chair.

"How dare you drop Haruhi," he told it, kicking it away.

"Hikaru! Don't kick things!"

"Come here, Haruhi. I'll lift you so that you can get this down."

"What?"

"It's better to put your trust in your friends than in something so much less stable," he said, looking angrily at the chair again.

Before I could ponder the meaning behind that statement, he lifted me up, and I quickly undid the fastener, causing the fabric to fall satisfyingly to the floor.

We moved to the next fastener and then the next one, eventually getting down all the fabric off of the walls, with Hikaru lifting me each time and insisting that any other way would be too dangerous. I couldn't really argue that point because of the falling incident I had just had.

When we got the last one off of the wall, he set me back down and then suddenly hugged me tightly from behind.

"Please don't do anything like that again," he said, resting his head on my shoulder.

It made my heart hurt to hear the worry in his voice.

"Someone may not always be there to catch you if you fall," he told me.

"Maybe not," I said, reaching up and wrapping a cakey hand comfortingly around his arm, "but I have a feeling that there will always be someone to lift me back up after I've fallen."

I felt his breath catch, and his hold on me fell.

I turned to look up at him, and he tried to hide the surprised look that was on his face.

His expression then turned into frustration, and he threw his arms in the air. "Just because that's true doesn't mean that you should be fine with putting yourself in dangerous situations where you could fall!"

I mimicked his arm motions and shot back, "That's not what I meant at all!"

"If you don't stop endangering your own life, Haruhi, I'm going to have you wear a padded suit at all times to avoid injury!"

"A padded suit? I'm a little clumsy, not insane!"

"A little?"

"Hey!"

Hikaru bent down and put his face on level with mine, looking comically serious.

"Promise me that you will be more careful," he said.

"Fine," I mumbled.

"Pinkie swear," he said, extending his pinkie toward me.

I wrapped my pinkie finger around his with an exasperated sigh.

"Children, what is going on?" Kyoya's voice intoned from the doorway.

Hikaru and I looked over to see Kyoya walk in and Kaoru follow, struggling under the weight of a large box. He set it down on the floor and then gave the two of us a confused look. Kyoya and Kaoru looked at us standing there, covered in smeared cake and frosting, and Kaoru tried to stifle a laugh.

"We fell," I explained simply.

Then Kaoru did laugh, and he ran over to hug Hikaru, happy to be reunited with him. He grimaced a little when he got cake on himself, and Hikaru motioned for me to join the hug, so that I could make Kaoru more messy. He reached out and pulled me in, making Kaoru cry out in protest as I got even more cake on him.

He eventually settled back into laughter, though, making Hikaru laugh and making me smile. Then Hikaru and Kaoru got those devilish glints in their eyes, and they both looked over at Kyoya, who was watching disapprovingly.

"Don't even think about it," he said, crossing his arms.

"Okaa-sama is a party pooper!" Hikaru and Kaoru exclaimed, still holding each other after I had let go.

"Kaoru, you stay in the room and clean up. Hikaru, Haruhi, let's go get the rest of those boxes..._ now._"

"Oh, fine," the two of them grumbled.

I trailed behind Hikaru as he headed toward the door, which Kyoya was holding open. Before I got out the door, however, I tripped and ran into Kyoya.

He looked down at me and realized that he was now coated in cake.

Hikaru turned and saw the situation and worriedly yelled, "Hurry, Haruhi, jump onto my back!"

He knew that I needed a quick escape to ensure survival, and he also knew that I was not a fast runner at all.

With no other option, I hopped onto Hikaru's back, and he caught me in a piggyback hold. He then bolted down the hallway, carrying me away from Kyoya's clutches.

After we were a safe distance from the third music room, I started laughing at the foolishness of the whole situation, and Hikaru laughed with me.

He had managed to lift me in a number of ways that day, but the most important way was the lifting of my spirits.

The love of my friends, no matter how it is displayed, is always uplifting.

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><p><strong>This one seemed to be quite different from the other chapters, but I hope that's not too bad of a thing. Haruhi is starting to really get out of her hole of self-pity, so I think that comes through in the humorous parts of this. I think.<br>Please review!**

**-Skye **


	6. Cause You Believed

_It's amazing what you can hide, just by putting on a smile~_

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><p><span>Chapter 6: 'Cause You Believed<span>

_Today is Friday, but tomorrow will be Saturday. _

_I won't break down today._

_Tomorrow? Yes. _

_But today... no._

I used these words to coach myself as I exited the classroom, trying to act as normally as possible, as if nothing was wrong. I knew I would be an emotional wreck the next day, but I also knew that mourning too much the day before was excessive and would interfere with my studies.

_You're strong enough to keep yourself together through the day, Haruhi, _I tried to convince myself as I made my way around the groups of students socializing in the hallway before the next class started.

I was walking a little too swiftly past a group of girls, and I realized when I heard the giggles that I had just brushed past a group of host club customers.

_I won't break down today, _I told myself again.

"Haruhi-kun!" they cried in unison from behind me.

I took a deep breath before turning around and then flashed them a smile. I felt a little guilty that there was an ulterior motive behind my smile- to keep them from knowing that anything was wrong with me. I was, of course, happy to see them, so the smile wasn't a complete fake, which helped my conscience only very slightly.

"How are you today, Haruhi-kun?" the tallest one asked with a cute little grin. I recognized all three of the girls as Tamaki-senpai's regulars.

"I'm happy to see all of you," I replied. "Tamaki-senpai truly is lucky to get to spend time with you ladies at the host club."

They all squealed a little, and the blond one said, "Oh, Haruhi-kun, you're so cute! If you'd like, we could visit your table too!"

"Yes!" the third one agreed. "I'm sure Tamaki-senpai won't mind if we request you just one time."

"That is very kind of you, ladies, but Tamaki-senpai is much better at handing out compliments, and you all deserve that sort of flattery," I said, causing them all to blush even though I hadn't intended to. "Plus, I would hate to see him sad at not getting to spend such precious time with you three, even for just one hosting session," I said truthfully.

"Oh, Haruhi-kun!" they all said, tears welling up in their eyes.

"You're so kind and considerate!" the tall one exclaimed. "If it is your wish, then we will continue to designate Tamaki-senpai."

The other two nodded fervently, and my mouth pulled up into a smile again.

"Thank you very much. Well, I must be heading off now. I will see all of you later," I said quickly with one last smile before I turned and walked away.

_They are very sweet girls, _I thought with a sigh.

I picked up my pace but didn't get very far before I nearly ran into another customer, this time one of Mori-senpai's quiet but loyal admirers.

"Oh, hello, Haruhi-kun," she said shyly. "You were walking fast, is everything alright?"

"Oh, yes, everything is okay. Are you heading to lunch now?"

"Yes, would you like to walk with me? We can sit together if you'd like," she said nervously with her soft voice.

"Ah, I'm sorry," I apologized. "I'm not going to lunch today. I hope you can forgive me. I would love to sit with you at lunch on another day, though, if you would be so kind as to allow me to."

"Of course!" she said, looking a little surprised. "Of course, you are welcome to sit with me any day. I look forward to it, Haruhi-kun."

"Thank you so much, then. Well, I'll be off now," I said, turning quickly away.

"Are you sure everything is alright?" she asked, causing my steps to come to a halt.

I looked back over my shoulder at her and gave her a soft smile, "Yes, everything is fine."

She blushed at seeing my smile and then gave a quick nod before rushing away. As soon as she was out of sight, I rubbed my temples with both hands and tried to breathe normally.

It hurt me to smile. It hurt to try and push back the thoughts that were threatening to consume me.

"Haruhi! There you are! Let's go to-"

Hikaru and Kaoru stopped mid-sentence when they saw me. I hadn't seen them before they called my name and didn't have the chance to quickly regain my composure and try to pretend that I was okay.

They instantly enveloped me in a hug at seeing the look of distress on my face. There was no point of trying to shrug them off as if the hug wasn't needed, so instead, I just leaned into them. They seemed a bit taken aback at this unusual return of affection.

When they let go of me, they bent to examine my face and asked, "What's wrong?"

"I have a lot on my mind at the moment," I answered vaguely. "I just need to be alone for a little while to think about things. Please, go on to lunch without me," I said, a hint of pleading making its way into my voice.

They looked ready to protest when I offered them the last bit of a smile that I had in me.

Kaoru's eyes softened, and he asked, "You really just want to be alone right now, don't you, Haruhi?"

I gave a little nod, and although he still looked hesitant, Hikaru said, "Fine, but promise that you'll talk to us later about it, okay?"

Surprised by their calm response, I nodded again as my pulse sped up and said, "I promise."

I meant it.

They both wrapped me in another hug, this one tighter and quicker than the first, and then they said a goodbye and walked away.

When I entered the third music room, my private refuge, I closed the door gently behind me. I was going to take a seat by the window, but I only got halfway across the room before I had to stop. Now that I was completely alone in the large room, my composure was failing me even more quickly than before.

As soon as the word 'alone' made its way across my thoughts, the tears welled up in my eyes, but I fought them with every ounce of determination I could muster.

"I am not going to break down today," I told myself yet again, this time aloud.

My spoken words, however, seemed to trigger the opposite of the desired effect as my tears multiplied and threatened to spring from my eyes.

My mind barely registered the sound of a body bursting through the door before I heard his loud, sing-song voice calling out to me.

"Oh Haruhi, my dearest daughter!"

I groaned quietly despite myself, and, glad that my back was to him, I raised a hand to hastily wipe the tears out of my eyes. My stomach twisted into a multitude of knots as I gritted my teeth, trying to put myself back together in record time.

"Haruhi! I saw you coming this way and wondered why you weren't heading to lunch! Of course I had to follow you and see if everything was okay," he proclaimed, much to my dismay. "Daddy wouldn't be able to forgive himself if anything was amiss with his favorite daughter!"

I wiped the moisture off of my fingers and onto my pants as inconspicuously as possible.

He took my silence as his cue to keep talking. "Are you eating properly, Haruhi? Why are you skipping lunch today? Did those evil twins poison your food? Is evil Mother stealing your lunch money to pay off your debt?"

"No," I said suddenly, ending his tirade of ridiculous questions. He obviously had no clue about what was actually troubling me.

After taking a few deep breaths, I decidedly turned around and said in a less hostile voice, "The twins and Kyoya-senpai have done nothing to stop me from eating properly, Tamaki-senpai. I'm just not very hungry today is all, and I wanted to spend my lunch period alone here to think quietly before my next class. There's no need to worry."

And with that, I dug down deep and unearthed another smile that said that I was okay.

Hikaru and Kaoru, although somewhat disarmed by it, hadn't fallen for this smile.

Tamaki did not fall for the smile either.

As soon as the smile appeared on my face, a look of utter confusion crossed his.

He strode over to me and placed his hands on my shoulders, surveying every inch of my face closely as if he would find some sort of answer there. As I realized that it would not be easy to keep myself together for much longer, the smile slipped from my face.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice uncharacteristically rigid.

"What do you mean?" I asked in forced monotone.

"Daddy just saw his beloved daughter give him a fake smile, and his heart broke," he said plainly, although it made my own heart give a painful throb. "He wants to know what unthinkable thing caused his precious daughter to taint her beautiful smile."

He saw right through my smile. He saw right through me.

"I need to sit," I told him, looking away from his prying eyes.

Stepping back away from him, I heaved a long sigh and then plopped unceremoniously onto the marble floor.

"Haruhi!" he cried in horror. "Don't just collapse onto the floor like that! Here, Daddy will get you a chair!"

Instead of grabbing one of the many chairs that littered the room, he ran to the largest couch there was and painstakingly pushed it toward me. When he finally got it over to me, though, he couldn't seem to coax me into making the simple effort of rising and taking the proffered seat.

I couldn't move. It took everything in me just to breathe in and out. I had reached my limit. I couldn't hold it in any longer.

When he finally realized that trying to get me to sit on the couch was no use, he dropped to his knees in front of me.

"Haruhi?" he said lightly, concern written all over his face. He surveyed my face once again, and as soon as I saw the heartbreaking tears welling up in his eyes, a sob tried to rise from my throat. I choked it back down, emitting an odd, strangled noise in the process.

"It's okay, let it out," he whispered.

Following his advice, my composure finally shattered, and I lunged forward and wrapped my arms around him, the hot tears pouring from my eyes as soon as my face hit the front of his blazer. I grabbed fistfuls of the back of his blazer, my arms around him in what I'm sure was a painfully tight hold. As I felt five long, tentative fingers wrap around my arm comfortingly, I tried to keep my sobs quiet.

We stayed there on the floor for a while, with him completely silent and only moving once in a while to wipe away a stray tear that had escaped his eyes. My tears streamed unheeded for far too long, but I let them have their way, not knowing what else to do. Something in my stomach was writhing painfully, there was an infernal ringing in my ears, and I was trembling uncontrollably. Even so, I could hear his little sniffles and feel his labored breathing as he tried to not also fall apart, which made my own hurt grow.

When my tears finally slowed a little, he quietly asked, "What's wrong, Haruhi?"

By then, my intentions of hiding behind a smile were long gone.

"Mom," was all I could manage to choke out at first, but, to my relief, he just nodded in understanding before I had to explain any further.

After another stretch of weighted silence, I managed to speak again in broken little phrases, "I want... I want to be just like her. She always... worked so hard... but there are days... there are days when I don't think I'll ever measure up to her... I'm afraid that I'll end up letting her down..."

With strain in his voice, he said, "Haruhi, there are days when I think that you are even more insane than the rest of us."

I moved my head back for just a moment to look at his face and found that he was, in fact, serious.

"That's not even possible," I told him humorlessly, not even bothering to question his motive for saying such a thing.

He gave a small, sad smile and said, "You're crazy if you think that you're meant for anything less than your dreams."

Not having a response and not wanting him to see the emotion washing over my face, I quickly situated my head back where it had been before on his chest.

"Haruhi," he began gingerly. "I never knew your mother, but... I know that she's proud of you. Every time your name is at number one for first year students and every time you stay awake for hours studying and every time you give someone that true smile of yours that brightens the room, she is proud of you."

The tears started coming out faster again as I contemplated his words, as I thought about my mother up in heaven looking down at me, as I felt the guilt rise from having given those untrue smiles...

I started shaking my head violently against him.

"No, I'm not as strong as her," I half-whispered. "She endured so much. She always did her best without needing anyone else's help. She always loved with all of her heart and never... she never faked a smile, even when everything seemed to be falling apart."

"Strength is acquired over time and with trial, Haruhi, and you're already so strong," he said with conviction, but I just shook my head again. "No, it's true, Haruhi. And love... love is acquired in the same way, I think, going hand in hand with strength."

"Over time and with trial," I repeated quietly to myself, musing over the words.

"You... you don't have to hide your hurt from me, or from the others," he said shakily to the top of my head. "We all... we all love you _so_ much," he said, his voice breaking by the end of his sentence.

I gently closed my eyes as I took in the words that were so paralyzingly true.

He took a quick, deep breath and went on, "You're strong and amazing and beautiful. You're her daughter, Haruhi. You have her strength. You've always had it. She believes in you. Ranka-san believes in you. Your friends believe in you. Now all you need is to believe in yourself."

As his words bore themselves into my mind, I reached out and took his free hand in mine. He had been about to say something more, but he was distracted by my action and faltered for a moment.

"Did you hear me, Haruhi?" he asked, regaining his conviction. "You've had all the strength to make it through all along."

I hesitated at first but then nodded against him, and the room went quiet again.

I finally pulled away from him and sat back, miraculously able to look straight into his bright, sad eyes without falling to pieces.

"I want to believe in myself," I confided in him, my voice small as my tears slowed.

"I believe in you, Haruhi," he said gently, yet with unwavering confidence. As he said this, the last tears slid down my face, and for some reason, I let him reach up and cautiously wipe them away.

I tried to say something in response to affirm that I knew what he said to be true, but my breath was caught in my throat, so all I could do was nod slowly and hope that he understood.

* * *

><p>Later, when he was dropping me off outside of my classroom, he gave me a warm smile and said, "Stay strong."<p>

He had given me permission to skip host club later on that day as well as the next day's host club get-together at the Morinozuka estate. I was incredibly grateful for his understanding. I was now confident that I could make it through the rest of the school day.

"I will," I told him, and then suddenly, a completely genuine smile took over my face. I couldn't have held it back if I had wanted to.

He stopped breathing for a moment, and his eyes shone as he looked down at me.

"There it is," he said softly, his voice filled with recognition and relief, before crushing me in one last hug.

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><p><strong>This chapter was also very difficult to write, but thanks to a thinking session while I hand-washed the dishes and Demi Lovato's song "Believe in Me," I was finally able to come up with the premise of this chapter.<br>Of course, this story is not over yet. That would be too easy. The next chapter will offer some alternate points of view, and the final chapter will wrap things up.  
>Please do review and tell me your thoughts. It means the world to me. :)<strong>

**-Skye **


	7. Because You Loved Me

**Hello there. This chapter is split into six sections, each corresponding with a prior chapter and host. The dividers indicate a POV change, and all sections are first person from a different host. If you haven't read the past chapters in a while, it may help to skim back over them so that this makes sense. This story is mostly about how Haruhi has changed, but these extra bits will show how the hosts have changed (because of love, of course! :D). **

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><p><span>Chapter 7: Because You Loved Me<span>

When I saw that man- no, that _thing_- touching her, the little flicker of worry that had been inside me burst into an all-consuming rage, perhaps the greatest I've ever felt before.

The world had never looked so red...

The insults they hurled at me meant nothing. They were trivial compared to the biggest offense they were committing. The biggest insult was them _daring_ to lay their dirty hands on Haru-chan.

Because, now that I think about it, I love Haru-chan a whole lot.

I have always loved Haru-chan, of course, but I never realized just how much I did until that moment when I saw him holding her, saw the fear flashing in her eyes, saw the pained expression twisting her cute face that silently begged for my help...

I've never had to defend someone so close to me before.

Even my little brother, as much as I wish he would like me, is not as close to me as Haru-chan is.

The closest person to me is Takashi, but he has always been able to defend himself.

To see someone you care about so much in harm's way...

To be the lifeline for someone who you love...

I hurt those men badly, but... I could have done much worse... I _wanted _to do much worse.

Because, if the entire world was trying to harm Haru-chan, for her, I would bun-bun kick it out of the solar system.

* * *

><p>When I was on the phone with her father, I looked behind me while Ranka-san was talking incessantly.<p>

Haruhi was sitting on the couch, looking straight ahead at seemingly nothing in particular. Her face was frighteningly pale, and it made my insides twist to see her looking so sick.

Maybe if she had seen herself earlier, she would not have tried to convince me that she was fine. It was obvious that she was not okay with one look at her, but I know Haruhi is not the type to dwell on things in mirrors.

When I started to speak in response to Ranka-san's questions, Haruhi's eyes slipped closed.

I actually stuttered when I saw the tiniest hint of a smile appear on her face.

Her little smile would fade once in a while but would always return when I was speaking.

I had no idea why she would be happy or any other emotion warranting a smile right then. It made me wonder if the sickness had touched her brain...

I found out her reason later, though, after she finished writing her note to me.

I remember thinking, _So it was my voice that she was smiling at? That's... so... cute..._

To have earned any part of Haruhi's love is one of my greatest accomplishments.

And I will be sure to tell her that if she ever wants to know how much she means to me.

* * *

><p>It was quiet between the two of us as I led her to the club room.<p>

When we reached our destination, I only released her elbow temporarily to unlock the door, but apparently she thought that I was going to leave her to make her way through the club room blindly.

That bothered me.

I figured all of this out in the instant that her hand smashed into mine, and I closed my fingers around hers decidedly before she could guiltily pull away.

"Careless," I said under my breath as I pulled her forward gently.

I said it then, and I maintain my opinion.

Haruhi does not realize the effect her words have, the effect her little actions have... It's careless, really.

It's careless of her to think that I would leave her helpless, careless of her to reach out so hastily for my assistance, careless of her to make me have to prove that I care for her...

"Is there any way I can repay your kindness?" she had asked.

It's just like her to be so careless as to bring up what may or may not have been my kindness.

No, Haruhi, there is no way for you to repay me.

Why does she reach out for help that is already hers?

Why does she try to repay me when I am simply trying to repay her?

She's so careless...

* * *

><p>I want to understand her, but a lot of the time, I don't understand her at all.<p>

How can she know so little about art and yet be the inspiration for so much of my art?

How can she think so little of herself when she is so often in my thoughts?

How can she see through me and yet still not see the feelings I have for her?

_"But, Kaoru, what if I don't have anything worth showing the world?"_

How can she make me feel such intense, resentful anger and such gut-wrenching, desperate... _love_ at the same time?

She invaded our world some time ago.

She has made me go from _our_ world to _my_ world.

All the time, she builds my world up, makes it crumble, and then rebuilds it again, higher than it was before.

"_Be as honest to this canvas as you are to everyone else. If anything at all from inside you shows up on that canvas, then it's definitely going to be beautiful."_

How can she make me want to spill out my feelings and yet have me regretting it as soon as I do?

How can she make me question everything I've ever known, tie my stomach in knots, and throw me into complete inner turmoil...

_"Thank you, Kaoru."_

...and then make it all go away with a simple thanks and the saying of my name?

* * *

><p>When she was falling, I felt panic.<p>

I didn't feel any pain when I collided with the ground, not even with her weight crashing into me.

All that I felt was panic that only went away when she assured me that she was okay.

The panic was replaced by a deep worry that such a thing could happen to her at any time, including times when I wouldn't be there to save her.

And then she looked up at me with that funny cake-covered face, and my worry momentarily slipped away.

The new thought that solely consumed my mind was to wipe the offending cake away.

_How dare you cover up Haruhi's pretty face, cake._

She makes me panic and worry and get angry at inanimate objects for unknowingly causing her harm.

I didn't really feel the pain from the fall until the next morning, but it wouldn't be the first time she's accidentally left me with a lingering pain.

The pain from that fall was mostly in my neck and back, but the pain she usually leaves me with is in my jaw from clenching my teeth as I watch her give so much of her attention to others, in my chest from not breathing properly when she says something to me and only me, or in my heart when I think about how she has become so much more to me than I could have ever imagined...

* * *

><p>When I felt like I could speak again, I asked her what was wrong, and her response was, "Mom."<p>

My heart sunk even lower.

_Was it this time of year when Haruhi's mother passed away?_ I thought, _Was it perhaps on this day all those years ago?_

"I'm afraid that I'll end up letting her down..."

What Haruhi doesn't know is that I am also afraid of the same thing.

My mother... she is beautiful.

She endured so much. She always did her best and didn't seem to need anyone else's help, at least not until the sickness came along. Still, she always loved me and Papa with all of her heart, and she never faked a smile, even when everything was falling apart.

Yes, she was always smiling.

And each time I start feeling like I will never measure up to her, I imagine her smiling at me, and then I know that I will be okay if I keep the smile in my heart that she planted there so many years ago.

As her child, I have her strength, and Haruhi and I were both blessed to be raised by such strong, loving mothers who have passed on these things to us, if only we will believe in them and cultivate them over time and with trial.

"Over time and with trial," Haruhi had whispered, repeating my words.

I want us to grow in this way together. Not just Haruhi and I, but everyone in the host club together. I want all of us to grow in friendship and strength and love gradually as we help each other get through life.

I know that having the other hosts in my life has been the cause of many heartfelt smiles, more than I ever could have expected.

And Haruhi has changed, too. Dealing with the rest of us has made her stronger, and her love capacity has grown so much since she has miraculously found room for each of us in her heart.

Yes, our mothers would be proud.

We're not there yet, but I believe in all of us.

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><p><strong>D'aww. So much love all over the place. ;_;<br>Well, as much as I love this story, it's only got one chapter left. I hope you've enjoyed this so far.  
><strong>Please ask any questions that you may have, and please grace me with your thoughts, if you could.<strong> **

**-Skye **


	8. I'm Everything I Am

**I honestly tried to write this chapter so many times. I hold this story so dearly, and I couldn't bear to end it in a way that didn't do the story justice. At one point, I wondered if I should even try anymore, since the story as it was could stand by itself. But I did tell you all that there would be one more chapter, so here it is, friends. Thank you for your attention and your love. This will always be one of my favorite fics that I've written, and I'm glad so many of you could also find joy in it as well.**

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><p>Everywhere, roses…<p>

Haruhi walked silently beside her father, carrying the few materials that they had brought with them. They'd had to cut back this year on the gifts they brought because they couldn't afford much, but she knew that her mother—always logical, frugal, selfless—wouldn't mind.

As they approached their destination, Haruhi found it harder and harder to keep her head up, and her gaze fell down to the ground.

Haruhi was memorizing every possible detail about her shoes when a small gasp came from beside her, causing her heart to stop. Her gaze turned worriedly toward her father, but instead of looking at her, he was looking straight ahead, tears forming in his eyes and his mouth slightly agape.

Haruhi followed Ranka's stare, and then she calmly set down the objects that she was carrying so that she would not drop them.

Ranka was the first to burst into tears, moving swiftly forward and then falling to his knees in front of the grave.

Haruhi just stood for a moment, frozen as she took in the sight before her.

She had set out with her father that morning to pay respects to their late mother and wife, on the anniversary of the day that stole her from them all those years ago.

However, they were not the first ones to visit the grave that morning.

The haka was cleaned, candles had been lit, and incense had been burned.

The ground in front of the grave was littered with an array of objects…

An exact replica of Usa-chan, holding an ornate golden picture frame which housed a group photo from an impromptu ice cream outing.

A novella-length letter on textured celadon paper that was flecked with silvery fibers, handwritten in familiar sloppy scrawl.

A set of pristine silk handkerchiefs, with cursive capital F's instead of O's carefully embroidered in the corners.

A lovely little teapot with an incredibly realistic landscape hand-painted on it, and a set of similarly crafted teacups to match.

A box wrapped in a sheer satin ribbon, holding an expertly-decorated cake covered in pink frosting that Haruhi somehow knew would be extremely hard to wash out of one's hair and clothing, on the off chance that one got covered in it…

And, most prevalently, roses.

Roses, neatly arranged in bouquets and wreaths, in a myriad of colors, bringing life.

The scent was overwhelming, the sight was overwhelming, the implications were overwhelming…

Everywhere, roses.

As soon as Haruhi finished looking over everything, she watched it all swiftly become a colorful blur. She was brought to her knees beside her father, who turned and clung to her for dear life, and together, they wept.

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><p>Mori was about to shed his suit coat and rejoin the others in the sitting room when he heard the familiar voice of one of the female servants coming from the direction of the front door.<p>

Going down the main hallway to investigate, he heard the sound of the door closing and the servant saying, "They're in the sitting room, down this hallway and to the left."

His pace quickened, and a moment after seeing her disheveled appearance and puffy eyes, she was wrapped in his arms, her heels coming up off the ground as she reached up to him. His hug was warm and strong, making her want to cry all over again.

When they released each other, she quietly said, "You smell like incense."

They exchanged a knowing glance, and then he gave a small, gentle smile. He held his hand out to her, and she took it, letting him lead her down the hallway.

They paused in the doorway unnoticed, and Haruhi quickly catalogued the room.

Hikaru and Kaoru were sprawled out on the floor next to each other, their suit coats and ties tossed aside in a messy heap.

Honey was sitting with his legs crossed, hugging Usa-chan in his lap. His head rested heavily on top of the bunny's head, causing the toy to fold in half.

Tamaki and Kyoya were sitting together and holding a quiet conversation, though Tamaki appeared to be doing most of the talking.

Still listening to Tamaki, Kyoya briefly took his glasses off to rub at the dark circles under his eyes. As soon as he replaced his glasses, his brow furrowed, and he looked over and spotted Haruhi, who was looking back at him. His expression softened considerably. Tamaki noticed this and cocked his head at his best friend's sudden change in disposition.

Mori decidedly cleared his throat, getting everyone's attention, and then he said simply, "Haruhi is here."

Suddenly, all eyes in the room landed on her. The object of their thoughts had appeared before them unexpectedly, and for a second, they didn't know what to do.

Looking at no one in particular, Haruhi broke the silence, speaking in an even, controlled tone.

"My father says thank you to all of you."

There was another second of weighty silence until Mori said, "And you, Haruhi? What do you say?"

She looked up at him quizzically. Why had he said that? Did he somehow know that she was restraining herself, that she had something to say to all of them but didn't know how to say it?

She found herself nodding at him, even though she was sure she couldn't possibly put her thoughts and feelings into words. Gathering her courage, she looked into the sitting room, and after she had made eye contact with each of them, the words came to her.

She began to shake her head and shrug her shoulders, and then she said, bluntly as ever, "I love you."

Then tears from the seemingly endless well inside her sprung up in her eyes, and she smiled incredulously as she added shakily, "My world is a better place because of all of you."

And then she was out of words, out of breath, and out of personal space as the people who had shaped her with their love surrounded her.

_Everywhere, roses. _


End file.
